The Latency

you wake up with
optimism
had a good dream
a funny
dream
about some random
person wanting you to be a
character witness
in their
tax
trial

up until three sending
out resumes
and cover letters
each one different
carefully crafted for that
particular job;
you’ve learned you shouldn’t
use boilerplate prose
you need a different letter
for each job
and you’re okay
with that

come out into the world
pour a coffee
thinking: okay, maybe
the light on the
phone
will be
blinking blue

maybe there’s already a
response and
it’s a good one

you’re not looking for
much: twenty hours a
week, maybe
three or four hundred
bucks
you’ve got plans for your
free time
you need more knowledge
and that’s okay
too

just need enough to
keep you in
hot dogs and
salad and
beer
for the summer

the rest will
take care of
itself

you sit down with the
coffee and the light
is blinking blue
and for a second you
start thinking wildly about
interviews and
questions and whether or
not your suit’s
clean

just for a second
until you pull up the
message:

no, thanks,
it says,
we’ve gone in
another direction

we wish you
the best

you slump back
against the couch
stare at the ceiling

weren’t things supposed to
be different now, after
all that time and
money?

you’re not looking for
a career yet
some place to spend eight years
getting more and more
entrenched

twenty hours a week
and a few hundred bucks

the windows are
open and you
sneeze
and then the rain starts
falling
and you think:
another day
another disappointment
not much money in
the account
and there are bills yet
to be paid

at least the
cat’s happy
lying there in the middle
of the
floor
twitching his
tail

the little
fucker